Exclusive: Biden's VP Interview
In an Amboy Times Exclusive, our roving reporter Shemp Davis eavesdrops on what we believe to be the initial interview of Sen Joe Biden for Democratic nominee for Vice President.
Davis claims he just happened to be standing in the corner when Obama, Biden and staff members entered the room and began the interview. Shemp knew he was onto something historic and took careful notes.
Obama: Senator Biden, please sit down, it's a pleasure to see you again.
Biden: Thank you, thank you....
Obama: As you know, I'm going through the selection process for the next Vice President...
Biden: I Know, that's great, I mean... your story book man!
Obama: Excuse me?
...pause...
Obama: Sen Biden, could you please step outside for a moment, I need to discuss something with my staffers.
Biden: Certainly.
At this point, Shemp says that Obama got into a loud shouting match with his staffers, threatening to fire one of them. But things began to clam down after Obama was reminded of previous interviews.
Staffer 1: You said you didn't want to even interview Hillary-
Obama: I know, but-
Staffer1: ...and you said that Edwards was a liabilaty with the affair...
Obama: yeah but-
Staffer2: ...and Al Gore-
Obama: I Know, first he claims that he invented the internet, and then claims he can barely use a computer, heh.
Staffer2: Look, Joe will be ok, doesn't mean-
Obama: OK, ok, bring him back in, it's been five minutes already.
General conversation, hand shaking etc...
Obama: Sorry about the delay Senator-
Biden: Please...call me Joe.
Obama: Joe- there was just one issue that we wanted to iron out before we continued.
Biden: What was that?
Obama: We'll ...uh...get to that later...
Biden: Ok, I hope you're not holding a grudge when I said that I found it a little disingenuous that you were hailing this as a new bold initiative when you neglected to join your colleagues in the Senate when the opportunities have been there to redirect our forces into Afghanistan, It’s good to see you have finally arrived at the right position-
Obama- (audible sigh) Perhaps we can focus on what we have in common.
Biden: Oh, Good idea! I mean, we're both Americans right?
Obama: Sure, and Democrats...
Biden: I mean, I feel totally comfortable being here with you right now.
Obama: That's good, now if we can ju-
Biden: Even we I go to Delaware, I notice that you cannot go to a 7-11 or Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian Accent.
Obama: I fail to see-
Biden: I get a lot of support from the Indian community.
Obama:
Biden: Barak, is it ok if I call you Barak? You seem a bit edgy-
Obama: I can no more disown you, Joe, than I can disown my white grandmother, a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed her by on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe
Biden: That's great Barak! I like you too. Does this mean I get the job?
Obama: Sure...( looks to Staff )...what do I have to lose?
Biden: Exactly!
Staffer2: Hey, why is that lamp laughing?
Shortly thereafter, our corespondent was escorted from the premises and his tape recorder was confiscated. The above discussion is based on his recollection of the event.
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