Bigfoot Nearly Extinct

This one reads like some thing out of the Onion. Also nearly extinct are unicorns, mermaids, chupacabres, and sane liberals. In fact, if you change the first word of the article to hippie, it actually makes a lot more sense.

Bigfoot, the legendary hairy man-like beast said to roam the wildernesses of North America, is not shy, merely so rare it risks extinction and should be protected as an endangered species.

So says Canadian MP Mike Lake who has called for Bigfoot to be protected under Canada's species at risk act, alongside Whooping Cranes, Blue Whales, and Red Mulberry trees.

"The debate over their (Bigfoot's) existence is moot in the circumstance of their tenuous hold on merely existing," reads a petition presented by Lake to parliament in March and due to be discussed next week.

"Therefore, the petitioners request the House of Commons to establish immediate, comprehensive legislation to affect immediate protection of Bigfoot," says the petition signed by almost 500 of Lake's constituents in Edmonton, Alberta.

A similar appeal has been made to the US Congress.

So if sasquatch does get endangered protection how does the Canadian government plan to protect the elusive species? I suppose it will be illegal to hunt them. The wearing of bigfoot fur coats will be strictly regulated. Schoolchildren will soon be indoctrinated with a "Save Bigfoot" mentality. Conservative policies are clearly to blame.

On a serious note, anything is possible. If Bigfoot turned out to be North America's answer to the Coelacanth, I would be the first to celebrate it's existence. But until then, let's keep the endangered list outside the realm of cryptozology.